Duke Nukem Quotes

Duke Nukem (found in Wikiquote)

  • Forget it metal breath, I'll just kick your butt and still have time to watch Oprah.

Duke Nukem 3D (the unused quotes were found in Wikiquote and IMDB)

  • [After his ship got shot down] Damn, those alien bastards are gonna pay for shootin up my ride!
  • [After approaching a Duke Nukem 2 arcade] Hmmm, don't have time to play with myself.
  • [Damn, I'm should've known those alien maggots booby-trapped this sub.
  • [After finding the Doomguy's corpse] That is one doomed space marine.
  • Battlelord: Who the hell are you?

[Duke Nukem shoots the alien lord in head with a shotgun]
Duke Nukem: I'm Duke Nukem and I'm coming to get the rest of you alien bastards!
(The first line is a reference to the last words spoken from the alien warrior in 'Predator')

  • Nobody steals our chicks…. and lives!
  • [After discovering Luke Skywalker's corpse (or Yoda's in Duke64) hanging from the ceiling] Now this is a force to be reckoned with!
  • [To the Overlord] I'm gonna rip yer head off and shit down your neck!
  • [To the Cycloid Emperor in Ep.2 ending] Guess again, freakshow. I'm coming back to town, and the last thing that's gonna go through your mind before you die… is my size- 13 boot!
  • It's time to kick ass and chew bubblegum. And I'm all outta gum. (This line originated from 'They Live')
  • [In front of a mic] Born to be wiiiiillllldddd!
  • I ain't afraid of no quake! (This was made in response to Quake which was supposed to be released to be soon)
  • [After his chopper is shot down] Damn, that's the second time those alien bastards shot up my ride!
  • This is KTIT. Kay-tit. Playing the breast… uh… the best tunes in town!
  • [After finding the corpse of Indiana Jones] We meet again, Dr. Jones!
  • [To the Cycloid Emperor] It's just you and me, you one-eyed freak!
  • [After finishing off the Cycloid Emperor] Game Over!
  • Duke Nukem: My name's Duke Nukem. After some few days of R&R, I'll be ready for some more action!

Unknown Woman: Aww, come back to bed, Duke! I have ready for some action, nowww!

  • Someone's gonna freakin pay for screwin up my vacation!
  • No way I'm eating this shit!
  • Nobody messes with my meat!
  • [After seeing an entire aisle littered with blood and body parts] Looks like cleanup in aisle 4.
  • [After observing a computer with Duke3D loading screen and frozen] Get back to work, you slacker!
  • [After finding Snake Pliskin's torso] I guess he didn't escape from L.A.
  • Nobody jacks with our independence! (reference to the movie, 'Independence Day)
  • Harr, matey! Someone's gonna take a long walk off the short gang plank!
  • Go ahead, make my day. (A line from Sudden Impact)
  • Yippee Ki Yay, you mother fucker! (John McClane's line from 'Diehard')
  • Look's like it's time for me to go Postal!
  • [After walking into a movie set with 3 lesbians] Hmmm, my kind of party. Wish I had time.
  • I'm gonna kick your ass, bitch!
  • [Before destroying the Alien Queen] It's time to abort your whole freaking species!
  • Ready for action! [sometimes said when completing a level]
  • What are you waiting for? Christmas?
  • [After stepping on a turd] Shit happens.
  • [After looking at a mirror] Damn, I'm lookin good!
  • [To a stripper] Wanna dance?
  • [To a stripper] Shake it baby!
  • Your face, your ass, what's the difference?
  • Hail to the king, baby! (Trademark line of Duke, though this is actually another one of Ash Williams' lines in 'Army of Darkness')
  • Groovy! (This is said by Ash in Evil Dead 2)
  • [When he kills a boss] Die, you son of a bitch!
  • Let God sort 'em out.
  • See you in Hell!
  • Heh, heh, heh, what a mess!
  • Get that crap outta here!
  • [After using the toilet] Ahhh…. much better!
  • [When healed after having low health] Ooh, I needed that.
  • This really pisses me off! [Sometimes this is said when he gets killed]
  • Uh, this sucks! [Said when he gets killed]
  • [Mocking the Assault Commander] Suck it down!
  • Piece of Cake!
  • Let's rock!
  • Come get some! (This is one of Ash Williams' lines in 'Army of Darkness')
  • Damn, I'm good!
  • Oooh, that's gotta hurt!
  • Bitchin!
  • Blow it out your ass!
  • Eat shit and die!
  • Gonna rip you a new one!
  • I'm gonna get medieval on your asses! (line is from Pulp Fiction)
  • I'm gonna put the smack dab on your ass!
  • Who wants some?
  • [After killing a Mickey Mouse look-alike] Damn that was annoying.
  • Nuke'em till they glow, then shoot 'em in the dark. (possibly an unused line. It may have been used when the NVG are used)
  • I think you need some down time. (possibly an unused line)
  • And I thought 10 guns was hard to carry! (May be an unused line)
  • …and I thought cigars tasted bad! (Most likely an unused line. It may have been said when he drinks toilet water for health)
  • Get away from her, you bitch! (An unused line, I think)
  • I've got balls of steel! (Famous line but I think it's unused. It should've worked when trying to use the Balls of Steel arcades)
  • I like a good cigar…and a bad woman… (Might be an unused line but I'm not sure. I recall seeing this one before)
  • My boot, your face; the perfect couple. (Might be an unused line)
  • You're an inspiration for birth control.
  • You're gonna die for that!
  • It hurts to be you.
  • Lucky, son of a bitch!
  • Damn, you're ugly
  • Hmm hmm hmm… Wasted.
  • What are you? Some bottom-feeding, scum-sucking, algae-eater?
  • Hmm hmm hmm… Payback time!

Duke Nukem 64

  • [After killing a boss] You're the disease and I'm the cure.
  • Ewww… what a mess!
  • Awww… does it hurt?

Duke Caribbean

  • It's time to limbo!
  • You're blocking my sun, asswipe!
  • Your ass is grass, and I've got the weed-wacker!
  • I like mine sunny-side up.
  • It's time to crash this party!
  • Woohoo!
  • [After being killed] This vacation sucks!
  • I'll turn you into bait!
  • Life's a bitch, and then you die!
  • Let's go surfin' now. Everybody's learning how. Come on and safari with meeee! [These are the opening lines of 'Surfin Safari' by the Beach Boys]
  • Damn, I hate disco!

[in a whiny voice] Stayin alive, stayin alive [makes a fake puking sound]

  • Love, exciting and new. [singing 'The Love Boat' by Paul Williams and Charles Fox] (I gotta thank Wikiquote for this one)
  • Look boss! De plane, de plane! (Famous line of Tattoo, a character from 'Fantasy Island')
  • Hot tubs, hot babes. I'm home!

Time to Kill (all from Wikiquote and IMDB)

  • Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your chicks. (When duke travels to the Roman Story)
  • Is it true that you Roman girls have Roman hands? Heh heh heh heh
  • Have you seen my rubber…duckie?
  • Hey! Get your ass out of here, Rubbe, and bring me back my chicks! [to a male stripper]
  • I'll blow you a new hole!
  • I'm God's gift to women!
  • I got no time to bleed! [Reference to Predator] (I remember this in Duke3D. Or was it Duke64?)
  • I love the smell of bacon in the morning [Reference to 'Apocalypse Now']
  • I make this look good. [Reference to Men in Black]
  • Lara, is that you? [after picking up a pay phone and listening to a moaning babe][Reference to Tomb Raider'a Lara Croft]
  • Looks like it's TIME TO KILL! (when you 1st start the game)
  • My home away from home! [in reference to a strip club]
  • Suck my boomstick [After killing an enemy with a shotgun/ Reference to the Evil Dead series.]
  • The bigger they are, the harder they bleed!
  • There's new sheriff in town. (pronounced in a southern accent when in the western story)
  • What the hell are you waiting for? Christmas? (after waiting for too long)
  • You make a great belt (after killing a lizard)
  • Little pig, Little pig let me in? Or I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll kick your ass in!
  • Rubba dub dub getta out of the tub.
  • Mmmm! Who wants bacon with the eggs? /After killing Pig Cops/
  • Has anyone seen Mr. Hanky? (after jumping down a well in the western story)
  • "Lizard skin is great for makin boots!"
  • "I love bacon bits"
  • "It's time to turn up the heat!"
  • [during a secret FMV where Duke is in his kilt outfit and then he reveals his butt under his kilt]

Duke Nukem: Knight me or bite me, man!
Woman's Voice: Ohh! Do that again!

Zero Hour

*Victorian Duke: Lookin good, pal.
Duke: Who the hell are you? My evil twin?
Victorian Duke: I'm you genius, only back in time. Now hear me, aliens have traveled to the past, trying to change history. I went back and fought them! But my time machine was destroyed, and now I can no longer chase them through time! As a result of their tampering [shoots the zombie behind him] your timeline will face temporal disruption. Your military of your future should have time-travel technology. But how you get there is your problem. But remember, if you don't go back and make things right, Earth's history will forever change, and mankind could be wiped out!
Duke: Well so much for my vacation time.

  • Looks like the crap has hit the fan.
  • [Gazes at the Statue of Liberty] In your service, Lady!
  • [Goes into future and sees NYC in ruins] Damn you! Damn you all!
  • [After seeing the first zombies in the game] And I thought Brooklyn was bad.
  • Pigcops roasting…. as I open fire.
  • [After seeing a military base with some ruins and dead aliens] Looks like someone had a party and I wasn't invited.
  • I need your clothes, your boots, and your horse…uhhh… forget the horse. (reference to 'The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly')
  • I don't die that easy, boys! C'mon, time for a jail break.
  • [To the Cyborg Scorpion] Here's a pop quiz, hot shot: What has six legs and no head? Heh heh heh, you in 30 seconds!
  • So what am I supposed to use? Harsh Language?
  • [When he goes back to the present] Ahhh, smell those traffic fumes, and no damn aliens. Time for some R&R! [sees two Old West wagons plus two Cowboy pigs] What the fuck is going on?!
  • [To a Duke Nukem clone dressed in cowboy attire] You're too good looking to kill, but I'm gonna kill you anyway.
  • [After killing a zombie] Next time, stay dead!
  • Blow it out your knees
  • I always wanted a pair of snake-skin boots [after killing a lizard enemy]
  • Sueyyyyyyyyy! [after killing a pig enemy]
  • Don't worry, saving chicks is what I'm all about.
  • I hate bacon!
  • This is gonna hurt come winter. [after Duke dies]
  • Squeal, piggy, squeal! [after killing a Pigcop]
  • Mess with the best, die like the rest.

Land of the Babes (all from Wikiquote)

  • Well, enough talk then. Come get some! Oh, Silverback, one more thing. I'm gonna enjoy pissin' on your dead body!
  • Welcome to "Cool's-Ville", Population: ME
  • I'm your worst nightmare, you uninvited alien scum-sucker! And right now you're all that stands between me and a planet full of babes - so get ready to bend over and kiss your ass goodbye!

Manhattan Project (all from Wikiquote)

  • Ah, New York! It's my kind of town. If I can kill 'em here…I can kill 'em anywhere! / Reference to Frank Sinatra's song "New York" ("If I can make it there, I'll make it anywhere…")
  • Babe: "Duke, you're my hero!"

Duke: "You must be 18 or older to ride."

  • Babes, bullets, bombs. Damn - I love this job!
  • Come on out, Morphix. There's just two ways this can end, and in both of them, you die!
  • Crouching mutant, hidden pipebomb! (reference to the movie "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon")
  • Dance for me, baby!
  • Death before Disco! (when Duke enters E2L3)
  • Guns don't kill mutants, I kill mutants.
  • Half man, half animal, all dead.
  • Hey, careful with those things! (after rescuing a babe)
  • Hmm, so there is life after death… (after respawning)
  • Hmmm… That's gonna leave a mark. (when he blows up enemies)
  • I always said, if there was a way to go, it'd have something to do with women, whips, and oil…
  • I am the king of the world, baby! (reference to the 1997 film "Titanic")
  • I'm an equal opportunity asskicker!
  • I could use some new boots. (when Duke encounters a mutant crocodile)
  • I go, where I please, and I please, where I go. (after rescuing a babe)
  • I like big guns, and I cannot lie. (when rocket launcher is selected, reference to Sir Mix-A-Lot's song "Baby Got Back")
  • I see dead people. (when he blows up enemies, reference to the film The Sixth Sense)
  • It's a good day to die! (reference to Worf from Star Trek: The Next Generation)
  • It's my way or… Hell, it's my way! (After blowing up a subway car)
  • Life is like a box of ammo. (when assult rifle is selected, reference to the film Forrest Gump: "Life is like a box of chocolates…")
  • Makin'…bacon! (after killing a pig cop)
  • Someone´s gonna pay for making me find these motherfucking keycards!
  • No token, no ride! [when he kills a mutant on the subway] (reference to Indiana Jones "Zeppelin Scene")
  • No disassembling required. (after killing a robot/mech)
  • Pucker up, buttercup! (when Duke encounters a fembot)
  • Rest in pieces! (when he blows up enemies)
  • Say "hello" to my little friend! (when pipebombs are selected, reference to "Scarface")
  • So many babes, so little time.
  • So, who want's to dance?! (after rescuing a babe)
  • Son of a bitch! (after respawning, blowing up enemies, or when soda machines don't work)
  • Surprise, surprise, I need a keycard.
  • This is why I have games named after me!
  • Time for mutation-mutilation! (when GLOPP ray is selected)
  • Time for a reboot! (when Duke encounters a robot/mech)
  • Oops, I did it again! (when he blows up enemies, reference to the Britney Spears song)
  • Time to deliver max pain on the A-Train…now where'd I put that subway token? (A reference to the video game Max Payne)
  • Time to deworm the Big Apple…
  • What a pussy! (after killing a fembot)
  • What am I? A frog? (reference to the game Frogger as Duke tries to run between cars)
  • Who want's to glow in the dark? (when GLOPP ray is selected)
  • Confucius say… DIE!
  • You talkin' to me? (reference to the movie Taxi Driver)
  • You're goin' down faster than the XFL!
  • You are the missing link. Goodbye. (Reference to the game show The Weakest Link)
  • Your kung-fu's through! (after killing a mutant crocodile)
  • Now I'm really pissed off! (after respawning)
  • I hate pigs! (after killing a pig cop)
  • Squeal like a pig! (when Duke encounters a pig cop)
  • Hmmm…the other white meat (when Duke encounters a pig cop)
  • Should've stayed in the swamp! (after killing a mutant crocodile)
  • Sewer scum! (when Duke encounters a mutant rat)
  • So much for the rat pack! (after killing a mutant rat)
  • This'll be a barrel of laughs (when shotgun is selected)
  • Take that, you dirty rat! (after killing a mutant rat)
  • This room is bugged (when Duke encounters a mutant roach or fly)
  • I kill bugs…DEAD! (after killing a mutant roach or fly)
  • Batteries not included! (after killing a robot/mech)
  • Morphix and his glop rig are going down faster than Enron. (Reference to the bankrupt Enron Corporation)
  • "Sorry hunny, I got some ass kickin to do first"
  • i love the smell of raw sewage in the morning, hey maybe Morphix is hiding under a turd somewhere.
  • I'm not gonna fight you. I'm gonna kick your ass!

Duke Nukem Forever

  • I'm lookin' for some alien toilet to park my bricks… Who's first?
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